


Despite

by Enmity (kasady_no)



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Mentioned Clary Fray, Mentioned Simon Lewis, Season One Finale, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:35:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22547884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kasady_no/pseuds/Enmity
Summary: Raphael reflects on how Simon leaving the Clan makes him feel.
Relationships: Simon Lewis/Raphael Santiago
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	Despite

**Author's Note:**

> •this is pretty tame compared to what I usually write•

There are days when Raphael's age roughly catches up to him, and days when he feels beyond himself, where it doesn't matter. 

Feeling beyond himself is something he feels with a tickle of a touch as the years tick by, and he wishes that the reason for that wasn't the fledgling he'd simultaneously saved and harmed. 

Despite missing that feeling of simply being, he could never forget, he could forgive Simon for pouring salt on his wounds but he would never be able to forget the painful sting the betrayal left on them.

Raphael would like to think that non of that was his fault but he couldn't just blame Simon, hell he couldn't even blame the Nephilim Fearchild. Because he could have avoided all of this if he'd acted out against Camille's rule sooner than he had. He would have never met the annoying mundane boy that he would regretfully give his trust to, give his love to. 

But despite that he feels he'd have lost such opportunities that he's been given by overthrowing any other time than when he had. Like Simon's love and even his hate. He wouldn't trade those for anything.

* * *

Though Raphael did hate it, hated the way things turned out, hated that despite all of the pain, the anger, Simon caused him that he can't quite bring himself to love Simon less. Hated that he sill wasn't willing to give up his trust again either. Hated that he'd never get to build on that growing bond with Simon. 

He just couldn't be fractured more cause he'd surely shatter trapped under all that regret.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in 2017 so bare with me here. I also haven’t seen season three.


End file.
